In Trouble

So I think I’m in trouble with my department for the lack of progress of my thesis. I’m having trouble focussing. With my mom being here and pressing all the wrong boutons it’s even harder to focus. I’m going to try to work a lot tomorrow though. I know that I can finish this chapter within two days. Hopefully that’s going to happen. In other news, I’m seriously considering piercing my face just to annoy my mom. I love her and I wish I could be more patient with her but I’m finding it impossible. I’m going to try harder tomorrow but it’s proving to be very hard. Anyway, I’m off now. Stay safe. Love you bye.

This is Ridiculous

I am sick of feeling like that. Why are parents so good at bringing out the worst in you? I found myself today wanting to shut my bedroom door in a huff. The whole time my mind was just screaming. I love my mom but she is infuriating. I want to do stuff just to piss her off. I know I’m not alone, all parents do that. But right now I’m being a little self centered and self obsessed. I’m sorry I’m moaning but today was really hard. It was raining and that put her in a bad mood, almost as if I made it rain. Anyway, that’s it from me I don’t have much to say. Stay safe. Love you bye.

The Regression Begins

My mom has been around for a little over 24 hours and I’ve already regressed into a hormonal teenager full of angst. I actually almost slammed my bedroom door. I know I’m a thirty one year old rational man. Yet parents have that gift they can turn the most rational person into an angsty teenager who wants to paint their bedroom black and listen to loud music just to spite them. I knew this was going to happen, I just expected it to take two or three days. Anyway, I need to relax a bit before I sleep so I’m going to watch a little television and then go to bed. Hopefully I won’t be as worked up tomorrow. Stay safe. Love you bye.

Tennis Lesson Mark 2.0

So I went to my second tennis lesson today. It is getting interesting now. We learned how to serve today. Well I say learned, we were told how to serve and then made a series of unsuccessful attempts at it. The point is I now need to do this about a hundred times so that I can get the ball to fall where it should. I did make some progress throughout the hour and found that when I don’t think about it too much, I’m able to get it right… more or less. But it’s okay, Rome wasn’t built in a day, although being able to serve in tennis should take significantly less time than that.

The only problem I’m having with the classes is that they seem to finish very quickly. They are an hour long each, which is an appropriate length of time for a lesson. I find though that they end quite abruptly and I’m left wanting. I’m sure that if they went on for longer I would be complaining about them being too long. I guess the fact that I feel time to be flying is a testament to how much fun I’m having. I can’t wait for next week’s lesson.

While we were there there was a tiny child on the court adjacent to ours. He looked like he was 7, but we later found out that he was actually 12. The child was amazing and made us all feel completely inadequate, or at least made me feel inadequate. He was hitting every ball with the confidence of someone his age who is not bothered with self doubt or the angst that comes with the years. I think children are able to learn these complicated skills much better than us because they do as they’re told and don’t really bother with embarrassment like us adults. Our teacher told us that he’s been playing since he was 5, which again explains his lack of self doubt, this was natural to him.

It seems that today was some kind of showcase event where the best children in the East Midlands were here showing off their skills. Our teacher told us to go watch if we want, but after my inability to serve for a hour, I though I’d rather not damage my already low self esteem, with regards to tennis, any further. I did however feel a little sad that I hadn’t discovered this when I was younger.

When I was very young I remember wanting to learn piano. We didn’t have one and so I couldn’t practice. A friend of the famillly was getting rid of their piano and I remember begging my parents to get it. It was old and needed some repairs, but nothing impossible. But my parents are lazy and subscribe to the dictum why do something today when you can fuck it up tomorrow? So we didn’t get it. And I had to wait until I was about 11 to get a Casio keyboard and start taking lessons. Of course a keyboard is not a piano and after 6 months, in which I did the equivalent of 2 & 1/2 years at the Algerian conservatory, I found that not having a proper analogue, as it were, instrument was impairing my learning so I stopped.

It wasn’t until I was 16 that I picked up a guitar and started learning on that instead. Don’t get me wrong, I love the guitar, and I’m very happy that I learned that, but I still feel a little bit sad that I never continued my piano lessons. Well if I ever live in a house I will buy a piano and start taking lessons again. This is one of my regrets and I shouldn’t let it be so.

Well this post was quite a journey. It started with my tennis lesson and ended up with me blaming my parents for not playing piano, I’m not crazy. I need to go back to work now, I have a couple of things to do before I sleep.

No Internet

So today’s post will be short as well. Z’s leaving tomorrow for a bit over 2 weeks, so I’ll be hanging out with her. And so, I will be leaving here soon and will be in a non-internet place. I have been working quite well today. I decided to take a break now and write this, so as soon as I finish I’ll get back to work, and hopefully be done with my quota before leaving.

I went to sleep almost straight after writing last night’s post. But I woke up this morning feeling a lot better. I have been writing a lot today. I’m still way off my target but if I keep writing consistently then I’ll make up for lost time by September or October. I really need not to get distracted in the next three four months. It’s therefore very good that my mom is coming to visit for two weeks at the end of July, and then almost straight after my dad is coming for a month, also a friend of mine is coming to visit for a bout 2 weeks. It’s good that all of this is happening when I need to focus completely on my work. I’m sure it’ll be fine, I just need to divide my time properly.

So I’m looking for a new place to maybe move to. That’s another thing to worry about. I am hoping to find a place before my mom gets here, so I can move there in time for her to visit. The thing is, the flat I’m in is very nice, but it’s really too small. I need an extra space for work. So a study of some sort. I have a few leads. Next week will be viewing week. I’ll keep you all updated. Now, back to the coal mines (because working in a coal mine is exactly the same as sitting in my living room and writing on my laptop. It is exactly the same so the analogy is fully justified. Fully justified I say!).