Archive for Mother

Gaza On My Mind

Posted in about the blog, Me, Palestine, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on 19/08/2011 by arabrhizome

I’m afraid this is going to be a short post. Not because there isn’t much to talk about, but because I have to go to sleep as I need to go down to London early with my mom to take her to the airport. I want to write more about Gaza and the massacres that are happening there right now. But I need to go to sleep. Still my thoughts are with Gaza tonight again. As I’m writing this there are reports of renewed air strikes and more death and destruction. All of it is senseless and avoidable. Anyway, I wish safety to all the people of Gaza and send them my love. Good night.

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Nice Day

Posted in about the blog, Culture, Food, Me, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on 13/08/2011 by arabrhizome

I had a very nice day today hanging out with my mom. We thought there was an afro-caribbean festival but it turned out to be only tomorrow. We ended up going to tamatanga’s and had some curry there. It was great. I had this lovely vegan eggplant one. I will definitely make it myself. We then had coffee in town and the barista who made my coffee is a vegan and told me about a bunch of places in Nottingham where I can get vegan stuff. It was a lovely day. I didn’t get any work done but that’s okay. Tomorrow we’re going to that carnival, hopefully it’s fun. In the mean time all of you stay safe and love you bye.

Having A Supportive Mother

Posted in about the blog, Me, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on 10/08/2011 by arabrhizome

So today my mother came back from Paris. I went to pick her up at the station here. I was a little apprehensive about telling her of me going vegan. I was expecting her not to really understand and be quite demeaning and unsupportive. I was pleasantly surprised. She was incredibly supportive and went with me to Waterstones in order to see if there are any good vegan cookbooks there. We looked at a few but then decided that none of them were really that good. we then had a beer together and she went through all the food she knows and asking me which ones were vegan and which were not. We then came back home and she cooked me a nice vegan Lebanese dish. I have to say that it made me feel very happy. After all the bad things I said about her on here it’s nice to be able to say something that positive about her. Anyway, I need to go and work now before I go to sleep. Stay safe everyone. Love you bye.

In Trouble

Posted in Me, Uncategorized with tags , , , , on 18/07/2011 by arabrhizome

So I think I’m in trouble with my department for the lack of progress of my thesis. I’m having trouble focussing. With my mom being here and pressing all the wrong boutons it’s even harder to focus. I’m going to try to work a lot tomorrow though. I know that I can finish this chapter within two days. Hopefully that’s going to happen. In other news, I’m seriously considering piercing my face just to annoy my mom. I love her and I wish I could be more patient with her but I’m finding it impossible. I’m going to try harder tomorrow but it’s proving to be very hard. Anyway, I’m off now. Stay safe. Love you bye.

This is Ridiculous

Posted in about the blog, Me, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on 17/07/2011 by arabrhizome

I am sick of feeling like that. Why are parents so good at bringing out the worst in you? I found myself today wanting to shut my bedroom door in a huff. The whole time my mind was just screaming. I love my mom but she is infuriating. I want to do stuff just to piss her off. I know I’m not alone, all parents do that. But right now I’m being a little self centered and self obsessed. I’m sorry I’m moaning but today was really hard. It was raining and that put her in a bad mood, almost as if I made it rain. Anyway, that’s it from me I don’t have much to say. Stay safe. Love you bye.

The Regression Begins

Posted in about the blog, Me, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on 16/07/2011 by arabrhizome

My mom has been around for a little over 24 hours and I’ve already regressed into a hormonal teenager full of angst. I actually almost slammed my bedroom door. I know I’m a thirty one year old rational man. Yet parents have that gift they can turn the most rational person into an angsty teenager who wants to paint their bedroom black and listen to loud music just to spite them. I knew this was going to happen, I just expected it to take two or three days. Anyway, I need to relax a bit before I sleep so I’m going to watch a little television and then go to bed. Hopefully I won’t be as worked up tomorrow. Stay safe. Love you bye.

Parental Rant

Posted in about the blog, Me, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on 05/08/2010 by arabrhizome

Sorry I don’t think this will be a very long post as I am quite on edge. My mom is really making my life difficult. It’s nothing major, but she’s just getting on my nerves. She isn’t being straight with me about what she wants to do and what she doesn’t want to do. She clearly has something in mind to do but then pretends to be accommodating. However, she clearly gets pissed off when we don;t do what she wants. Also, everything is a struggle. She questions everything I say even when the evidence shows that I am right. For example, she wanted to have a beer with lunch but didn’t want to sit in a restaurant. I explained to her that cafes and small food places like pret-a-manger and others, where she wanted to sit and eat, don’t sell beer. She then started to explain to me that I was wrong. So I took her to a cafe and showed her that I was right. However, this only meant that this particular cafe didn’t have beer. So I decided to play along and dragged her around showing her a bunch of them. She finally accepted that I was right, even though clearly she still didn’t believe me.

As I said before, I love her she is my mother, but as a person I don’t think I like her. Also, I think I don’t have patience for stupidity anymore. I remember my mother as a smart independent woman. I don’t know if it’s age, but she has become a whiny, lazy, silly woman. She repeats the same thing over and over and over again. She refuses to accept that what is acceptable back in Lebanon is unacceptable here. Also, for a few years now she has developed a bigoted side to her that I really don’t have the patience for. I can’t accept it because I can’t accept bigotry in general, but more importantly because she is the one, along with my father, that taught me to fight these evil impulses.

I remember growing up in a house that used to be visited by artists, communists, Muslims, Christians, Jewish people, Atheists, feminists, and leftists of all forms and persuasions. So it is very hard for me to understand how she has lost that acceptance of difference that she has taught me to have. First, it was the classic arab trope of blaming the ‘Jews’. While it is unacceptable, I used to find the explanation for it, not the justification, in the horrible way in which israel behaves in Lebanon and Palestine. I used to sit and explain to her that it is wrong to say that it is the ‘Jews’ who are the problem, and that she needs to distinguish between Jewish people, and even israelis, and zionists. I used to spend hours using reasonable arguments to express the fact that zionism as a racist, colonial, and imperialist ideology is the thing we need to fight. However, clearly it all served absolutely no purpose.

Her stay in Lebanon amongst very racist and bigoted people has clearly had an effect on her. She now says horrible things without thinking about them. The main problem I have ascertained is that she seems to have lost the ability to think about what she is going to say before she says it. So she says things that are clearly bigoted and horrible, but without malice, it is sheerly out of silliness and lack of thought. The problem is I don’t have the energy to sit and give rational arguments anymore, especially since they have had no effect what so ever. But on the other hand, I will not agree with a racist or bigoted statement out of politeness. I will call her out on it every time she says anything that is wrong.

As an example, in the cab today the conversation got to whether a certain actress was gay or not. And she said ‘you know who turned out to be gay? That funny actress Ellen…’. To which I replied ‘yeah Ellen DeGeneres. She is gay’. She then said ‘well since I learned this I stopped liking her’. I first tried to be intelligent about it and started ironically stating racist stereotypes as truths. I said ‘yeah and black people are all lazy. Arabs just want to blow everyone up. Jewish people are cheap. Women are stupid and are only good for staying at home’. But that strategy didn’t seem to work as she replied ‘it’s not the same thing’. Again I was stunned as she is one of the first people to teach me that all oppression is the same. So I started getting angry and said ‘of course it’s the same. Hating someone for their colour or gender or sexual orientation are equally wrong. Otherwise it is nothing more than bigotry’, and I left it at that so as not to lecture her.

I just feel sometimes that she has regressed and is now a teenager. The problem is she’s a petulant, spoilt, annoying know-it-all, even though she’s got most of it wrong, teenager. I have to tell her things that would be obvious to anyone who is not completely new to social life. I keep having to tell her not to point at people, or speak loudly on the phone in public spaces, or a million other things, and I am tired. I have realised that 2 weeks is too long. Next time she should come for a week or 10 days at most. I can put up with most of her bad behaviour for that long, because my missing her allows me to do that. However, more than that and I can’t anymore. The thing that bothers me most is that I know she is better than this. She has been through hell and has given me all the opportunities that have led me here. So seeing her loose all those characteristics that for most of my life I have admired about her is really hard to stomach. I only hope that now that she is retired, she might stop acting so badly and pull herself together, although I’m not holding my breath either.

Oh look, it ended up being quite a long rant. This blog is really useful, if only as a venting space. I should rant a bit more often. I like ranting. It’s good for the soul I think, even though there is no such thing as the soul of course. It helps because it avoids bottling up things and turning them into resentment and hatred. I shall try to rant more often, although I will try to introduce a bit more comedy into them, if I can. Having said that, I just re-read what I wrote and I think I can put in some jokes in that and turn it into a decent routine. I can’t wait to try out some open mic nights next year. I think it will be good for me to know if I am cut out for it or not. I believe I am, but it would be good to know for sure.