Zombies

So for the past few days I’ve been on a bit of a crazy zombie trip. I’ve been watching zombie films and series. I never thought I was a zombie aficionado but clearly I was wrong. Zombie narratives are very interesting. I’ve watched a few films with fast zombies and a few with slow swarming zombies. It’s very hard for me to decide which I like best. One of my favourite things that I’ve watched has to be Dead Set. It’s set around the Big Brother house in the UK and is brilliant in every way. It came out as a series but can be watched as a single long film. It’s absolutely fantastic and has one of the best endings I’ve ever seen.

Watching all of these films and series I realised that the zombie genre is not at all what I thought it was. In fact, the narratives are often very deep. The atmosphere of dread and impending doom is very powerful. It’s also interesting to juxtapose the gore with some interesting soundtracks. Dead Set is very good at that. There is a scene where people at the studios are being attacked by zombies while the people in the Big Brother House are having a party completely unaware of what is happening. It’s made very powerful by the juxtaposition of party music to the scenes of massacre. It’s really well written, but then again what else would you expect from Charlie Brooker.

Anyway, all this watching of zombie films has gotten me to think about the zombie apocalypse and what I would do if it actually happened. I know it sounds silly, and it is, but watching zombie films one can’t help but wonder. One thing that’s made clear is that I need to increase my level of fitness. I need to be able to outrun the zombies. Now, if they are fast zombies, a la Dead Set or 28 Days Later, that’s going to be hard. If they are the slow swarming type than I can probably do it but I need more upper body strength in order to be able to climb fences and stuff and be able to put height and distance between myself and them.

The other thing that is painfully clear is that I’m probably not going to be able to remain a vegan post zombie apocalypse. I’m going to have to eat whatever I find and until I’m able to get to a secluded area in the countryside, which is feasible as I know how to drive and don’t live very far from the countryside, where I can grow my own food. Still I will probably need to eat animal meat or products. I’ve come to the conclusion that in the zombie apocalypse scenario it is okay for me to do that. At the end of the day the point is to survive. I will need to eat whatever I can get my hands on.

I think that my flat is a safe place to start. I have no downstairs neighbours and live on the first floor. In theory I could get to the roof of the building very easily from my bedroom or bathroom window if I need to leave it in a hurry. Obviously this requires me to work on my upper body strength and my apocalypse shape. I could then get to many open spaces and places with cars easily. Either from roofs or by dropping down to an adjacent street. I would then need to go to the supermarket and stock up on supplies, probably after I’ve tried to get to my friends. Then it’s off to the countryside.

Yes I have thought about this a lot. That’s what one does while they’re watching zombie films. It’s very hard not to think about these things. Some zombie animals exist, snails and certain insects for example, so it is conceivable that this ability can somehow be transfered to human beings. I just need to have a cricket or a baseball bat on hand and with a little luck I think I could survive the zombie apocalypse if I get in shape. On this sombre note,  have a good night everyone and don’t have nightmares. Also, don’t let the bedbugs bite, they might turn you into zombies. Sweet dreams.

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4 Responses to “Zombies”

  1. Mimi Says:

    Me to with the Zombie thing

  2. As a vegetarian I feel your pain, but in a zombie apocalypse world eating meat is legitimate (as it is now for indigenous peoples). Another thing to think about is weapons. The Americans have the edge here: as Zombieland shows, firearms are quite crucial to fighting off the undead, and in the States they’re plentiful. But then, we have cricket bats.

    • Yes I agree on the meat issue. Also on the firearms issue. Although now many in the police force have a lot of firearms. So we need to either find a policeman or policewoman or go to a police station and try to stock up on some. Also, cricket bats are badarse against zombies.

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