Nice Lazy Day

I was supposed to work today. I wanted to work today. But it seems my body wasn’t up for it. So I did a little light work, reading mainly. But I also watched a lot of tv and played a lot of God of War 3. It was a very nice day on the whole though. And even though I didn’t get as much as I would like done, I didn’t feel bad about. I know that on Monday I’ll work a lot at uni. My desk in the postgrad room is definitely work conducive. But I guess that you might be thinking that the fact that I haven’t done much today means I don’t have much to talk about. Well you’re wrong because I went out with a couple of friends for a drink, and I have a couple of nice stories to tell.

So we went to this new pub, well the pub isn’t new but it was my first time there. We sat inside, since it was very cold outside. But there was a table of 5 women and one man, also two other men who seemed to come and go. This table was the loudest table I have ever encountered, and I have sat at a table full of Americans (haha I am funny! You see it’s funny because Americans are supposed to be loud). The man would say something and the women would burst out laughing, very very loudly. It was as if the man was saying the funniest thing anyone has ever heard in the history of the world. I mean I’ve been to very very funny stand up gigs, with a lot of people in, that didn’t get as many laughs.

The thing is it was very difficult for us to communicate, because it was loud (in case I wasn’t clear about how loud it was). At first it was nice, because these people were clearly having the time of their lives. It was nice to see people laughing so heartily. But it got old very quickly, especially with them getting louder and louder. I tried to listen in and hear what the man was saying, it was hard but I managed to hear a few of his lines. Well what can I say, one of them was him noticing that a banana was kind of like a penis, although it was said in innuendo form. This got a very good laugh. The following line involved him alluding to the fact that one of the women was a bit of a slag by saying that she likes bananas. That got even more of a laugh. The final line was him saying something that cannot in anyway be described as mildly amusing, to be honest it was so inane and asinine that I forgot what it was. But this got an awful lot of laughter.

After a while we decided to go sit outside, because being cold was better than the headache that my two friends were developing. So we went out and first sat at a table, but it was too cold. So we decided to ask a man if we could stand with him at a table with one of those heater things. He was nice enough to let us share it with him. Although I think that the fact that I was with two very good looking women (that’s right I was out with two women tonight, eat your hearts out you jealous people) helped. It turned out that this observation was absolutely correct, as he went on to talk to them, while completely ignoring me. I wasn’t bothered about it or anything, he was an old weirdo who thought he was sly and cultured.

He kept trying to be funny, and failing miserably. He kept telling us stories, that all had some kind of racist element to them, even though that element was very well hidden and very subtle. But we heard him call Africans primitive. He also had a go at a Jamaican accent, which wasn’t nice. And then, to prove to us that political correctness had gone mad, and that while some jokes might sound racist they aren’t really. He told us about his son and his wife, who’s black. I will continue with his words now: ‘her mom and dad are Caribbean, or Jamaican, I mean you can’t get blacker than that. The other day, they were at my place. She was in the kitchen and he called her and said: “common you N… bitch”. And it was an affectionate thing, a pet name for her. I mean they now ban us from saying these things but when I see my mates I don’t call them by their names. I say hello you twat’. I have left the n word out because I don’t like even writing down, even though technically I am one, of the sand variety though (Haha I am funny).

So to him the N-word is equivalent to calling someone a twat. As we discussed later this evening, that’s just not the case. Well he left a short time afterwards because the atmosphere got a bit frosty after that. It’s just funny, in a sad way, how deluded some people are. I just don’t understand why people insist on using terms that have  history of violence. Anyway, I think that is a very good effort on my part at entertaining you. I am now going to go rest, and hopefully sleep. Tomorrow will be the first day I go to tennis in three weeks. I have missed it and can’t wait to play with my racket and balls again (haha I am funny).

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