Supervision 2

So I had the supervision that I was dreading so much today. Guess what? It went extremely well. I was so happy and I’m still very pleased with it. You see I came out of my last supervision with this particular supervisor feeling destroyed and shattered. It was about 7 months ago. It took me 6 months to get over it and be able to write again. Now that’s what you call a bad supervision. However, now in hindsight I have to say that it was bad because I didn’t really like my thesis back then and wasn’t happy with the way it was going. However, now that I am a bit clearer on my argument and my plan, I think my writing is naturally better.

It was all in all a very enjoyable experience. My chapter is not perfect, but I knew that already. The criticism felt constructive and helpful. I was able to argue for a few things showing that the way I had written it was right. I just felt happy and confident, I think that had something to do with it as well. I am now looking forward to resuming work on Sunday after I’m back from London and I clean my flat. I can’t wait to finish this chapter and start the next one. I do believe that I’m finally on the right track, and that I’ll be able to produce a good piece of work.

I also think that this blog has helped me. Having a space where I have to express my frustrations in a coherent manner is incredibly helpful. Also, the fact that I have been writing everyday for almost three months helped demystify the writing process. I highly recommend this for anyone who is stuck because of writer’s block. Even though I have cheated on a few occasions and not written a proper post, the process of finding something interesting to write about everyday has exercised my writing muscles. It is sometimes difficult to isolate a particular event or feeling or mood that might be expressed in an interesting way on here, but it sure is good for my writing brain.

So after a very tense morning and early afternoon because I was dreading the supervision, I felt relief. It was like all the tension in my body was released. In fact, I spent all afternoon doing absolutely nothing with a smile on my face. I was in that state of blissful sleepiness. I was moving slowly and very little.

The experience of writing a PhD is a really weird one. You go through so many extreme states of mind. It is an emotional ride that can be overwhelming at times. The highs are rare but so good and satisfying that they make the lows, which at the time can seem to be insurmountable, somehow worth it. The feeling you get when you produce something that is seen by others to be worthwhile and intelligent is one of the best feelings anyone could experience. The only better feeling I can think of is being on stage and doing very well there, I miss being on stage.

Also, my supervisor informed me that I will probably be teaching next year the same classes I taught this year. This is very good news as I have done all the preparation work for them and so will only have to refresh my memory and show up for the classes. I had a lot of positive feedback last year both from the students and the module convenors. I really enjoy teaching, as it is very close to being on stage and having an audience. You need to keep the students entertained enough without compromising the content of your material. You have to subtly control them and push them in the direction you want them to go in. And if you do it well, they come out of the classroom a little bit smarter than when they came in.

Other than that I am ready for my two days trip to London with my mom tomorrow. I will do some work on the train and then enjoy the city. I am looking forward to doing a few things down there, especially eating dim sum at Ping Pong, and maybe going to Borough market one of the days. I am also looking forward to having my own space again and resuming my daily trips to the gym. I have enjoyed having my mother here, but it is time for me to get back to some sort of productive routine.

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