Harder and Harder

So I’m starting to find it hard to find something to write about here, hence the title (It’s nothing sexual like you all thought with your dirty minds in the gutter. You disgust me!). Especially since I’m not doing much except working(ish). So my days are pretty monotonous. Wake up, drink tea, sit in front of computer and try to concentrate and write. I don’t know why I’m not writing as well as I should. I know what I want to say. It’s basically there, all I have to do is actually write it. I can finish this chapter in 2 days. All I need to do is focus. Yet focus is what is proving to be the most elusive.

I have decided to turn off the internet all day today. I even took my phone offline so as not to get facebook messages and check twitter. I thought without the internet I’ll be forced to do something. If not work, then I would at least clean up the flat. Yet I did neither I just basically stared at the computer all day today. My mind was just not focussing. It was like it would blur just around the subject of the thesis and be distracted by other thoughts.

So I’m hoping this will change very quickly. I need to write and I need to focus. Tomorrow is another day and I’m hoping that something will give, something’s got to give.

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One Response to “Harder and Harder”

  1. Hey Hocine,

    I check in here occasionally and I want to say take heart! That’s a tough place to be but (for me) it is often what precedes a good productive spell–almost like I have to have a period of total fallowness (no internet distraction, just nothing…or sometimes reading a book for the thesis) and then, if I sit long enough, the writing starts coming. Given, of course, that everyone’s writing process is different and individual, etc., etc., maybe it’s not like that for you. But I empathise with the difficulty of that empty time and feeling like you just. can’t. quite. get. there., and I hope it comes easier very soon. Good luck with the chapter. We are all in that boat!

    Take care,
    Eireann

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